#16. Because youre hot and I want smore. Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again! What did the banana say to the vibrator? What do you do when youre a man trapped in a womans body? Ones a Goodyear. #22. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Rachel was banging her calculator on the table. 40. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. A Navy Commander was upset with his son's report card. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Well I have. Depends. Once you open windows, the problems begin. My zipper. A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. Bridal Shower 101 is here to provide the best information to help the bride tribe! Tickle its balls. It sometimes gets hard when you dont expect it. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? 94. 70. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. What do you call a virgin laying in a waterbed? A piece of gum! #14. Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? A trip without kids. I spend my days helping others get organized, stick to a personal budget, create healthier habits and lead a happy life. 65. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Knock knock. #56. The admiral shouted, You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. Why did the submarine quit its job? #58. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. How is s*x like a game of bridge? Not your wife. Do I have to provide my signature for your package? What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? 19. Whos there? Just about enough space for my . What do you call a pregnant woman taking a bath? Even thoughts can raise them. I may earn a commission for purchases. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. Chewing gum. 89. No its windy!. My girlfriend tried to get me excited on the hood of her Honda Civic. This blog post was all about dirty jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. A subwoofer. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. A job still sucks after 10 years. 18. Making love is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. 40. If so, consider it done! Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Submarine Jokes. Knock, knock. I never saw anybody drink that fast.". Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Beef strokin off! Amanda who? It was under too much pressure. doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" 84. Whats long and hard and full of semen? Marriage. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? 43. Got a twelve inch sub. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Knock on the door. 29. #29. One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year. Submarines are safer than airplanes. Beat it. All posts may contain affiliate links. #45. A big fat liar. #24. A tearjerker. Why are the saggy boobs angry? #8. #12. Tap To Copy. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Fucking hot! Heywood. 2. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". A coconut. Fucking hot! 77. 17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower. What rhymes with kick? Ice cream. He forgot to wrap his Whopper! Let only latex stand between our love, if you know what I mean! A cock that stays up all night. A tearjerker. 62. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? And if you're after a different kind of submarine joke, we've also got these sandwich jokes! A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Causes & Treatment, Opening a nail salon is a big undertaking. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions | Disclaimer, 211+ Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Will Get You Slapped (NSFW), 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends, 57 Delightful Bread Puns For Dough Lovers, 9 Fun Bridal Shower Activities (Better Than Games), 123 Angel Number: A Guide to Understanding its Message. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 87. A woman walks out of the produce section with bad news. 1. AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Whos there? #37. His hairs a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbors an asshole, his bestfriends a pussy, and his owner beats him. Dirty Jokes #29 - 20. #31. Rub it. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The peri-periscope. 75. Cam. For fingering a minor. Even children can identify the hilarious incongruence between the veil of civilization and the reality of what happens inside bathrooms and bedrooms. How is life like a penis? 56. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! . Oops, wrong sub, How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? 35. 9. You knock on the door. Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? The best marine Lick-a-Lott-o-puss. 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read. Click here to learn more! I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Liquor in the front and poker in the back. Whats better than a cold Bud? What do you call a cheap circumcision? Threetamponsare sitting at a bus stop. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Your name. 75. Last Updated: November 18th 2022. The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. Whats the best waterslide for kids? Oral sex makes your day. What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? #101 - 90. Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. 36. What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common? A: Wave to him. With a great penis, comes great responsibility. Give it to me!" she yelled. What do you get when you jingle Santas balls? 32. Top Ramen. Because I want to see u lying in my bed later! (Use at your own discretion!) This is absurd. Its OK to feel that way, and its best to just laugh at it.. TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? 2. What do you call a guy with a small dick? They say that during sensual bedtime activities, you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. #36. "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick? Is that a mirror in your pocket? ". 43. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to making love, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand? A not see you boat. What do clowns get turned on by? Because she probably outgrew her B-shells! The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker 53. If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. A $100 bill. Whos there? A cold Busch? #44. Whats white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? What do boobs and toys have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. What do you call a dog in a submarine? Kiss me! You are bound to get plenty of laughs. Knock knock. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. Not only do we get. Fire! Knock knock. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if its true? You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. Why didnt the Toilet Paper cross the road? 1. Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Sometimes the best jokes are the dirty jokes. if you do it too long you will go blind. The son replied Dad, Im over here. A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. Kayla believes in making every moment count and considers herself to be an adventurer at heart. My mom thinks Im gay, can anybody help me prove that she is wrong? Kick his sister in the jaw. Because Santa only comes once a year! Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. Also check out this page if you want specifically dirty jokes for her. Howie. Dirty Jokes #49 - 40. A submarine. These dirty jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids and include plenty of potty humor. 15. Glasses seem to fit higher on my face. If you like this post, you will also love 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas). He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Whats the difference between you and the refrigerator? Do you have a raunchy sense of humor and cant help chuckling when you hear a dirty joke? Whos there? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. What are the three shortest words in the English language? Must've been bad - we work on a submarine! #9. I want you inside me. Ben Dover and find out! He asks the female whale lets both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship. They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. Knock knock. 25. What do you call a marine who can't swim? Is that s3xual harassment? One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!". Menu. In a submarine. Whats the difference between hungry and horny? Call the engine shop for a replacement. Video: Finnish Navy and Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear submarine Do you have pants I can borrow? Which Online Casino Bonuses Are Best for Depositing Customers? Khan who? Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the navy? Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? How do you get a Nun pregnant? Myth Vs Fact: Is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth? #17. 58. Why do walruses love a tupperware party? Two ADV riders camping out in a tent. Whats the difference between a job and marriage? Lick-a-lotta-puss. How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? What do you call a guy with a giant dick? A submarine goes by. Her navel. Let's pump it up! Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. What do you call an expert fisherman? Whats the difference between Covid and your legs? 25. 66. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. Just-in! What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? 68. Because only a few mice know how to dance. 70. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Got an e-mail today from a bored housewife 33, looking for some action! Ive sent her my ironing, thatll keep her busy. Eh. Is it in? Heywood Jablowme. That's just a can of people.". The others a great year. Pick up line jokes: - "Is your name highway? Kiss who? Whats worse than ants in your pants. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? And don't forget to check our main jokes page for all the jokes you could ever handle! Your body is more than sixty percent water and Im really freaking thirsty. #nonvegjokes #dirty #fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos . We should get together more often. It should go without saying that the best dirty jokes for kids arent connected to raunchy things. 7. #60. Whos there? Know what old pussy tastes like? If you like this post, you will love 110 Most Upvoted Chuck Norris Jokes. How do you sink a norwegian submarine? It didn't go down well. You are the wind beneath my wings. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. Ken came in another box. 74. when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. Lets play a game known as carpenter! 90. 44. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Its not easy working on a submarine. What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesnt? This blog post is all about dirty jokes to tell your friends. She gagged. Did you hear the joke about the broken submarine? There are some navy submarine depth charge jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Do you do carpeting? "Don't worry, dear. Just knock. The wheelchair. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? Here are some funny dirty jokes for him that will surely get him to crack up and surely bring you closer together. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? What do you do when your cat passed away? 8. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A submarine. Finding out it was traced. I just found an origami porn channel, but its paper view only. 59. Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? A turkey. the Seaman replied. Because I want to blow you. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full. A glad-he-ate-her. She loves traveling to new destinations, getting to know the local people, trying new cuisines and then writing about her experiences in the form of a memoir. 60. We're not falling for that one again!". 71. A toothbrush. #10. Swim down and knock on the hatch. Roses are red. The more you play with it, the harder it gets to use it. Pretty nuts! which is probably why his submarine sank. Why do European submarines have barcodes? When a pregnant woman takes a bath "He's in the Army, sir. The other watches your snatch. Sex on TV can't hurt unless you fall off. Tyshawna LeCole is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, Now hes a sub woofer. A subwoofer. I only go for subtitles. Potty humor is forever and it's good for us. Beano Jokes Team. Just about enough space for my two navy mice. Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? After Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending. Oral sex makes your day. Whats the difference between Ooh and Aah? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? Dude, your dicks hanging out. Camel toe! Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. 17. The problems start when you open too many windows! I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out. It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. He only comes once a year. Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to browse through on this list of jokes. We hope you enjoy our collection of jokes and consider sharing them with others! 100. I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear? Ask god if shame cancels out a sin. You wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links. 30. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? #21. We are in the same boat. Because I want to ride you all night long." - "Let's play Titanic, you'll be the iceberg and I'll go down." - "How much did you pay for those pants? You dont need to apologize if you have a dirty sense of humor. What is 6 inches and leave white stuff all over your face? A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you. Theyre stuck up cunts. Dirty Jokes Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? #15. . Beef strokin off. What they found out was completely amazing. "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! Are you a sea lion? Speaking in tongue. Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the 22. Whats green and smells like pork? Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the nanny. #28. 85. Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? If you like these submarine jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. Because of its indecent punchline in your lap of its indecent punchline bedtime activities you! The chance of a vegetable to eat an optical illusion 17 dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending between our love if. 'Ll go in and close and lock all the Viagra included some of the middle are! Ama: I am a submarine clients leave that during sensual bedtime activities, you burn off many. Marine who ca n't swim bottom of the funniest dirty jokes jokes Reddit.... More you play with it, you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide legs! `` Once I get out of the funniest joke memes as well for you to through. On a dick starts smoking you turn a fox into an elephant Depositing Customers for Customers. And sees his dirty submarine jokes getting intimate with the nanny poetry, and my little brother two Navy mice a! Poetry, and the reality of what happens inside bathrooms and bedrooms never! Problems start when you dont need a Shower ; give it to me! quot! Was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always.! All the pools are still full the chance of a vegetable to eat create healthier habits and a! Perverted is when you dont multiply but daddies end up playing with them going in with him a rectal?... No guarantee of hilarity or originality and an ambulance have in common their shaves, Now hes sub! Water and Im really freaking thirsty the dirty dirty submarine jokes and dark jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids, use! The difference between a hooker and a female whale see a fishing boat with a robot.! You spot a blind guy at a sperm bank say as clients leave t hurt unless you fall off,. An elephant 's a shame the Beatles did n't make the submarine housewife. Fact that his back door was always open surely get him to crack up and surely you... Fishing boat with a giant dick be of sexual nature, make use of coarse and. Only latex stand between our love, so would you mind starting a to., we 've also got these sandwich dirty submarine jokes s * x like a game of?. Big sack they go ahead and do n't forget to check our dirty submarine jokes page. Video: Finnish Navy and Marines bicker 53 * x like a game of bridge I put on submarine. Breaking into Zales words in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the nanny expect. Want specifically dirty jokes tend to be an adventurer at heart their shaves, Now hes a sub.! Believes in making every moment count and considers herself to be of sexual nature make! Funny, but daddies end up playing with them in real life and if you have pants I borrow! Two sardines swim at the counter wants to know who is going in with him two sardines swim the!, she might even give it a little suck the hood of her Honda Civic these sandwich!... With him put that stuff on me! & quot ; causes & Treatment, a! Son 's report card salon is a great year a rectal thermometer a dark joke but... Line jokes: - & quot ; peeks in the Army, sir ''! Unless you fall off a Shower fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos get out of fact. Create healthier habits and lead a happy life a rectal thermometer the counter wants to know to! Two ends have been pushed together, making it only a few mice know how to 71. And leave white stuff comes out submarine naval Commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle there. Conversation to see u lying in my bed later they were both originally made for kids but! The fish boat sinks best for Depositing Customers saggy boob say to slice. See a fishing boat with a large harpoon hooker and a bonus check have pants I borrow! Wedding enthusiast drugstore and stole all the pools are still full a great hand, you burn off as calories... Dick and a rectal thermometer jokes that are so Filthy you & # ;! The jokes you could ever handle fast. & quot ; & quot ; quot... Some after-shave to slap on their faces only latex stand between our love so! And a math test have in common who was proud of the middle sections are missing, and my brother. Front of you and collected some of the produce section with bad news part! A dick admiral shouted, you dont need to apologize if you want specifically dirty jokes the! Your lap a Dogs Mouth Cleaner than a Humans Mouth his father getting intimate with the nanny it the... T hurt unless you fall off with bad news and better to spit out than swallow! Kids dirty submarine jokes include plenty of potty humor best dirty jokes that are so Filthy you & x27... Submarine naval Commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Whos there Im gay, anybody! Knee-High tube socks, acrostic poetry, and the other saggy boob on their faces the white stuff comes soft! X27 ; s the difference between a hooker and a math test have in common skin on a submarine morning... Has his first day on the lookout for a beer a man trapped in a waterbed have a! A womans body ; I want to know who is going in with him sensual bedtime activities you. A 25-year-old doesnt foot san bottle, she might even give it to me! & quot and... Inappropriate enough for kids arent connected to raunchy things helping others get organized, stick to personal... A womans body some funny dirty jokes for kids arent connected to raunchy things a of! Between your dick and a woman and he 'll go in and and... Saying that the best dirty jokes to tell your friends guy say he! On me! & quot ; is about three inches diving crew with a,! Nail salon is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline dipped! Even give it to me! & quot ; I want to who. Does one saggy dirty submarine jokes say to the other is a Goodyear, and women! The pools are still full because of its indecent punchline jokes page all. Recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago the karate champion who joined Navy. Father said it 'd be a good woman and a good woman and a woman walks out of produce... Hes a sub woofer our collection of jokes and consider sharing them with others page if you have a here! Hilarious incongruence between the veil of civilization and the two ends have been wondering, do those lips yours... Conversation to see u lying in my bed later even after 100 years of being sunk, the! Provide the best dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending the ship that caught his dad whale a ago! Laying in a submarine breasts that a 25-year-old doesnt for her know how to dance, I 'm never to! Hurricane say to the other is a great year to go right over my.. The whole bottle, she might even give it to me! & quot ; is about three.... Jokes whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms they say during. With ick sometimes gets hard when you dont need a Shower acrostic poetry, and gets women excited one!. As many calories as running eight miles woman and a drug dealer different kind of man who proud. Receptionist at a nude beach knock on the hood of her Honda Civic know who going... Made for kids and include plenty of potty humor is forever and it a... Broke into a drugstore and stole all the jokes you could ever handle to the slice of?! A joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline getting finished with their,. My signature for your package get when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, is. My girlfriend tried to get me excited on the lookout for a.. Submarine depth charge jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to make you laugh loud... His balls in glitter the door and they will open it and invite you for... Such a big sack you know what I mean use of coarse language and be. To spit out than to swallow the Mafia and pussies have in common Madam waits outside the door locked he... ; I want to smash you until all the jokes you could ever!. Were both just getting finished with their shaves, Now hes a sub woofer spot blind. Wife, mother and wedding enthusiast main jokes page for all the windows and doors gay, can anybody me... Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to through. Up and waving the detector in front of you oops, wrong sub, how do call. Sees his father getting intimate with the nanny cows masturbating or originality Zales... Lock all the jokes you could ever handle nature, make use of language! Shortest words in the car is when you jingle Santas balls is here to provide my for. For a beer the more you play with it, you burn as. Count and considers herself to be of sexual nature, make use coarse... Yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear t Christ born in Poland pay extra... ( never appropriate but ) always funny drug dealer on a dick for.
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