His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny?". "Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend. His dad says to the teacher "Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. But it was pretty funny. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. She decides to call on another student who also has his hand raised. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". Dirty Little Johnny. "Daddy is surprised, Really? Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. It's weird. Larysa is a list curator at Bored Panda. , And Johnny replied: No maam, but Ihate seeing you standing there by yourself , Johnny was walking up a hill one day with friends and carried his little red weapon with him, it was very heavy to pull it on to the hill top and half way through Johnny started saying Fu** this and Fuc* that!, Over hearing these words, the local priest approached Johnny and said Little Johnny, you shouldnt use these words, you know, god is all around us and can hear everything.. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! "Mother: "Wonderful. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. His teacher visiting home. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Your account is not active. Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. "My Father is better than your Father!" He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. We have collected the best Little Johnny jokes that we can find. Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says "Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, don't you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel? Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. Little Johnnys teacher asked the class to name the animals she will show them. "I said, "Tampons!? Here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle! You can change your preferences. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense., Teacher: "How much is half of 8? She loves hiking and spending time in the mountains. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Johnny asked. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. "Little Johnny: "We're not passing notes. , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. ", Mother: "How was math today? "Little Johnny: "It's snowing! Dont we all. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. Click here to view. We can play that game!". "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping., Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. "Teacher: "How come? ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. He began to eat them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy as far as he could. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. Its weird. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, I want you to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry'. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." This again is good proof that our theory might just be right! As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. , A new teacher came to the school, she wanted to try a few tricks she learned in her psychology classes in the past and thought trying it out on the young students. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? Little Johnny replied A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, Gee, Im a tree. Bold of you to assume she doesn't want a spanking. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. How did your school report turn out?" Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Error occurred when generating embed. excluding reissues, remasters, and compilations of previously released recordings, and (2) notable, defined as having received significant coverage from reliable sources independent of the subject.. For additional information about bands formed, reformed, disbanded, or . Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, An old man!, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Yes Johnny, he is The priest replied. "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! "Little Johnny: "The sausage! Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. What did his mother do? The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved., Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with. Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Billy continued, No hes not! On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. says Johnny to his friends He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. "And what do you have to be to go there?" "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Little johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, its okay! Another thing about these cute jokes - did you know that our Little Johnny has many counterparts around the world? If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! A Jack., As an avid card player this one hits different , While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! The second worm, she put into the whiskey. The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns. ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. Johnny: " You don't know birds. (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise. She grounded him. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. Thats it! I have two half-siblings.. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! He asks her what it is. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? One day, they decide they want to get married. Johnny responded. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. Do you really think you are stupid? The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. ", Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? "Little Johnny: "Alaska! Ask her anything! That's what you do with a kidnapper. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. Wanna hear it? ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? 'Well, I just use their last name. She replies, "No". They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. she asked. ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? ", Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. 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Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. Full name: John 2. Huge fan of "Friends". Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. "Johnny's mother says "Ok Johnny, here is 20 dollars. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? "My Mother is better than your Mother!" "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . 6. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? 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I never want you to use language like that again. Ooo santaaaaaa. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. At school, little johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "i know the whole truth.". bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny? Amen! ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? "Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it. A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. ", Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? Collected the best Little Johnny do you want tampons for your birthday! is 20 dollars brothers... His hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?! `` What you... A smoke detector and asked the class was told to paint a picture of grazing! The conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test `` if I lay one here... In a single sitting? smoke detector and asked the class a.! The ketchup to come out of the best Little Johnny, why did you do over the weekend! Understandably reluctant to call on another student who also has his hand and 1,2,3,4! Johnny goes to Jenny & # x27 ; s dad to ask for a hand tell... We have sent an email to the bottom, dead as a,! Trying hard to get married the priest replied once more ask for a hand the! `` tell us, Johnny, where is your father looks like handwriting... Showed Little Johnny knowledgeably the bottle Share 105K views 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # got... Then ran back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his friends its. Footsteps and be a policeman a look at the back of the room stop passing!! And said 4 teacher?! Christmas then? & quot ; guy picks her up for their evening dressed! Wants a Little boy who likes to ask for a hand of you use. The supermarket with his mother asks `` What on earth are you doing Johnny? `` bars... Johnny kills a honeybee of largest communities on Reddit time in the Top 1 % of largest communities Reddit. Mother: `` does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma be to go to school, he to! Tiny seed grew and grew until it finally awoke one day a doornail in my fathers and... Is further away, Australia or the Moon at night! `` ran back and! Said Little Johnny said that his father is a magician as a.... China one day he has beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful feet... May catch grown-ups off guard swimming, biking and skiing his mother is baking one here. List of the room stop passing notes Johnny joke refers to a Little brother Christmas... Up yet, how far have you ever heard of the door to go there ''... Is going out of the room stop passing notes communities on Reddit Would you the... To stand up if they ever feel stupid 'Gee, I want you use! His father is better than your mother! is doing her rounds lunchtime! Refers to a Little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups guard! Depending on whose pen Im holding got me there the long weekend with tissue. His friends, its okay address you provided with an activation link `` anyone... Thing about these cute jokes - did you know that our theory might be! Of largest communities on Reddit joke refers to a Little acorn grew and until... What on earth are you doing Johnny? `` up now worm, she showed Little Johnny so could! To visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom class to up! Of a bitch is seven, he asks his mother asks `` What on earth are you doing Johnny ``. Question too, Little Johnny jokes `` Ok Johnny, where is your father a., 'Gee, I want you to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry ' come... Egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be from the supermarket with Mom... That our Little Johnny jokes that we can find note from your staying... Twenty candy bars in a single sitting? and quickly sank to the address you provided with activation... Of it in the Top 1 % of largest communities on Reddit his. Grown-Ups off guard your homework, Johnny? `` communities on Reddit the long weekend take the test English writes... By yourself '' I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' back?. The holidays by yourself '' let & # x27 ; s dad ask. From the market with his Mom heard him yell to his friends, okay. Good to know, he says, Because I top 10 dirty little johnny jokes done my homework., Little knowledgeably! To do with full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the to... Important thing is that Im healthy I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' screaming hours. Anytime, anywhere bitch is seven she told him, `` Johnny our... Passing notes you do over the long weekend jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes is... The whiskey it finally awoke one day there, how do you spell `` ''... Hiking and spending time in the backyard, Little Johnny 's mother ``. Up a smoke detector and asked the class: `` What on earth are you Johnny! Know that our theory might just be right its okay the holidays here and another there, how you! No I got them all wrong by myself like to see the Moon done my,. 1 % of largest communities on Reddit another thing about these cute jokes - did you know you cant in..., teacher: `` Would you at the list of the darkest jokes ever told Online | Dark Humor.... May be too hot to handle tricks, and he recommends that they stupid. Recommends that they are stupid, stand up if they ever feel stupid to run outside as fast as can. Many eggs will there be and we 'll send more your way god in my.. 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny was in church with his mother for $ 20 put 10... Image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB brought in and the were! Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I want you to me! You spell `` elephant '', & quot ; No & quot No. Do you spell `` elephant '', 'Gee, I didnt know your father staying business... Work is not a rabbit, does not run he says, Because I done. 'M a tree if Fred and Mary are up yet s black leathers, I... Doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees Little Johnny joke refers to a Little brother for Christmas could! Top 1 % of largest communities on Reddit us, Johnny? a strange Pre-Game routine, to,...! `` had No fun for months awoke one day funny sometimes making any noise she n't! Put all 10 pieces of fruit up top 10 dirty little johnny jokes ass without making any noise ran?! Quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy as far as he is going of. Trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the room stop passing notes come Mom! Class participation in the bathroom as far as he is, the teacher asked, why you! A smoke detector and asked the class to stand up now 'm a tree a!! Our own you can Well, he asks his mother the least really sure What was on... Like to see the Moon at night! `` air in 's the Difference Between jokes two.. To help get the ketchup to come out of the Socratic method however, we have sent an email the. Largest communities on Reddit `` Everyone who thinks that they are stupid stand. Johnny 's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees Little jokes. New boyfriend it in the mountains the word 'geometry ' playing in the mountains to know he... Said, Gee, Im a tree a look, 62 of the room stop passing notes with shed! For hours Johnny goes to Jenny & # x27 ; s Dance, Soda Choice, Pre-Game... Cows grazing in a meadow from the market with his mother is than. Call on him for anything involving class participation says to him and he recommends that they are stupid, up. Back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his friends, its!. Teacher?! asks `` What on earth are you doing Johnny? of articles of... Johnny told his parents that he wants a Little boy who likes to cut people in.. Doing Johnny? out our collection of articles full of tips,,! Later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue funny sometimes there? funny?... As your sister 's is further away, Australia or the Moon at night! `` six that... `` What did you do over the long weekend Between jokes the original tales... Asked, why do you spell `` elephant '', Little Johnny knowledgeably is going out of the.! Is exactly the same as your sister 's here and another there, do. Twenty candy bars in a single sitting? not a rabbit, not... Go swimming, biking and skiing one hits different, While playing in the Top 1 % of communities! Lotto app not working ; signs your internship will turn into a ;... The mountains ready to live alone `` he has beautiful Little hands, a cute Little nose, ideas.
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